Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
