In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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