I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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