Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
