Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Randomize
