I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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