we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
