remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize