you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
My vagina just clenched in fear
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
