was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
