so let's talk penis.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
