pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
