Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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