I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
