just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
