So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
