Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We left an ass print on the piano.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
