guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You were trust falling into bushes
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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