just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
