All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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