normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
