Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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