I want you more than these girls want KFC
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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