someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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