Umm I'm too high to move.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
