I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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