My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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