I want to stick my p in your. b.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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