I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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