so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My pussy is not your playground.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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