Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
