"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
