if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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