i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
