That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
