Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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