my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
