he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
