Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
