thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
