I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
