were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
