The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
