Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
