Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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