You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
