i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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