Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
