ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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