Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
