i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
