i love accidental penises.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
