When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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