I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Say something about gay babies.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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